Where the Hell Did My Life Go To?

29 May

I am drowning in an abundance of riches.

I know of no other way to describe my life right now.

It seems like that would be a good thing, right?  But I’m actually being serious. I’m so busy doing the things I love to do that I don’t have time to sit back and just enjoy them. I’m too damned tired to smell the roses.

I’ve always been like this. I go balls out when I find something I enjoy.  I remind myself of a comet entering Earth’s atmosphere, all bright light and burning embers, only to fall to the Earth as little chunks of spent chemicals.  Something in my genetic makeup that makes me do this, and all the logic in the world doesn’t change it.

I’m easily twice as busy today as when I semi-retired eight years ago.  In truth, I can’t imagine what retirement looks like. It doesn’t register with me, like a foreign concept which will forever be too complicated for me to grasp.

But right now I have definitely overdone it!  I need to cut back a bit, and just writing those words fills me with dread.  What do I cut back on? Do I spend less time with the birds? I love raising them.

Do I spend less time with our puppy Maggie?  No chance!

Do I spend less time with the farmers market duties?  But I love that part of my life.

Do I spend less time writing?  I would rather cut off my arm!

See?  A dilemma for sure!

I’ll figure it out.  I always do.  A natural balance will, eventually, happen, if I’m willing to just get out of my own way and allow it to happen.

I’m sure it’s just me, right? We always think we are unique in our problems, in our thoughts, in life in general, so I’m sure none of you have had a similar experience.  Lol  So don’t mind me while I voice my thoughts to the random universe.


Did you grow up thinking you were going to change the world? I did!

How’s that working out for you?

Truthfully we all affect our immediate environment/universe, don’t we?  Our very existence causes a ripple effect which touches countless others, so thinking we are going to change the world is, in fact, a cinch!

But if you want to throw a monkey-wrench into the situation, add the words “positively or negatively” to that question . . . are you changing the world positively or negatively?

Just something to think about . . . have a stupendous day!

Stupendous does not sound like the word it is, does it? Sounds too much like stupid . . . sigh!


“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”

23 Responses to “Where the Hell Did My Life Go To?”

  1. Janine Huldie May 29, 2018 at 2:08 pm #

    Aw, I know you will figure it all out and hoping you do get more time to do all you want to now. Happy Tuesday, my friend!! 🙂

    • Billybuc May 29, 2018 at 2:10 pm #

      Happy Tuesday Janine…I sure hope that happens soon. 🙂 Enjoy your day, my friend.

  2. Sally Gulbrandsen May 29, 2018 at 2:33 pm #

    Savor the moment, count the blessings. It seems that whatever you are doing you are doing it right! Have a wonderful day Billy.

    • Billybuc May 29, 2018 at 2:39 pm #

      Thank you, Sally, and you do the same. I laugh at my silliness…always thinking I need to do something else, or something more, when the heavens have already smiled on me.

  3. Graham Lee May 29, 2018 at 4:26 pm #

    You lucky man, to find such satisfaction in the simple and free things in this mad world. Riches not required thank you!! Keep smilin’ BILL.

    • Billybuc May 29, 2018 at 4:34 pm #

      Graham, it is always a pleasure to hear from you.Thank you sir! I am, indeed, a lucky man!

  4. Manatita May 29, 2018 at 7:02 pm #

    You will get burn out but both Sri Chimoy and Swami Vivekananda would love your ways. Better to wear out than to rust out they say.
    I can only say to do what gives you joy, being mindful of your own strength. Peace bro.

    • Billybuc May 30, 2018 at 1:25 am #

      I like that, Manatita…don’t ever want to rust out,my friend. Blessings to you always!

  5. 1authorcygnetbrown May 29, 2018 at 10:32 pm #

    Hi Bill, I have been through what you’re going through when, a few years ago, my father, brother and sister died within 6 months of one another. I decided what was most important to me was my family and my writing. It took me a while to get to where i wanted to be, but I think I am there. It’s all about the making the most of each day and enjoying the journey. Our destination will eventually be that “pine box”, but until then, we can just enjoy the journey.

    • Billybuc May 30, 2018 at 1:26 am #

      Oh goodness, Donna, I’m enjoying life; I’m just enjoying too much of it at the same time. LOL Thanks a bunch!

  6. Lawrence Hebb May 29, 2018 at 11:51 pm #

    Did I grow up wanting to change the world? I don’t remember thinking that until I was already ‘grown up’ and the answer is “I still do!”
    All I can say is if you’re enjoying what you do, then you’ll find a way to keep on doing it, there’s nothing better than going to sleep at night looking forward to the next day.

    • Billybuc May 30, 2018 at 1:27 am #

      Livin’ large and lovin’ life, Lawrence…always!

  7. suziehq May 30, 2018 at 7:30 am #

    You will find the compromise Bill that makes sense all round! You have done so much over the past 6 years that I have got to know you and it is astounding the energy, commitment and focus that you bring to each part of your exciting life. Look forward to the next chapter as always my friend!

    • Billybuc May 31, 2018 at 12:32 am #

      Thank you for the encouragement and faith in me, Irish! You are a good friend.

  8. Sageleaf May 30, 2018 at 11:50 am #

    Just sneaky sneaky seeing if this lets me comment. lol

  9. Sageleaf May 30, 2018 at 11:50 am #

    Oh, good! Disregard my email, Big Bro! Here’s what I tried to say before:

    Big Bro, (let’s see if the WP gods will bestow the gift of commenting to me today, lol). I completely, utterly understand. Since leaving teaching in 2012, I have tried to forge a life doing exactly the things I want to do.
    I’m getting there. I still work at a school, but I’m no longer teaching in the “main classroom” sense. I’m content with doing their marketing. I will teach again, but something that I feel is far more important: that which improves the mind.
    And I write. And make pretty artsy things.
    Have I figured out how to monetize it all in the perfect way. Pfft. Absolutely not. But that’s where you know you love something: whether the money is in abundance or not, I can’t live without writing or mindfulness or being creative. I remember one of the first articles I wrote on HubPages in 2011 was “Get Started With Meditation.” Haha…I have since deleted it in favor of better articles on the subject. So. Much. Incredible. Goodness.
    Cut back? You know…the very things I’m doing right now (with the exception of working at the school more than my ideal and traveling more) are exactly what I want to be doing when I’m 90. It caters to my multipotentialite tendencies. LOL.
    Sending hugs across the Great Divide, as you say.

    • Billybuc May 31, 2018 at 12:34 am #

      Lil Sis, I’m reading this after a long day at the Market,and I’m tired, but you brought a smile to my face and a laugh to my heart. Thank you for always being here, for understanding, and just for being the best sister a guy could hope for.

      Hugs flying your way

  10. Greg Boudonck May 30, 2018 at 1:23 pm #

    Geez Bill… Did someone slip some LSD in your orange juice lol?

    Now you have my head spinning… And most of all, am I changing my corner negatively or positively?

    I will ponder that.

    Thanks buddy.

    • Billybuc May 31, 2018 at 12:35 am #

      Greg, it is entirely possible that I’m on drugs and don’t know it. lol Thanks for the laugh,my friend.

  11. Andrea Stephenson June 2, 2018 at 4:21 pm #

    I think it’s a great dilemma to have Bill, so many people find they do so little they enjoy that to feel you’re having too much enjoyment has to be a good thing 🙂

    • Billybuc June 2, 2018 at 4:23 pm #

      I know, Andrea…you are absolutely correct. I have an abundance of riches, my friend, and I am so blessed.

  12. phoenix2327 June 10, 2018 at 1:34 pm #

    Cool. I always wanted a rich friend. 😀

    Seriously though, you’ve worked hard to get where you are today. Why shouldn’t you reap the riches of a life well lived.

    • Billybuc June 10, 2018 at 2:39 pm #

      I think I’m going to do exactly that, Zulma! Thanks always!

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