On Friendships

12 Feb

One of the common themes in all of my novels is friendship.  I’m not talking about acquaintances, or the casual friendships we all have, or the instant friendships on social media, but rather the “I would do anything for that person” friendships which are so rare in our lives.

How many such friendships do you have?  Not counting family I can count two.  It’s a small number, for sure, and I’m not sure what that says about a man who is now seventy years old and literally knows hundreds of people, but there you have it.

In “Resurrecting Tobias” it was the Three Amigos, Toby, Maria, and Pete.  In the “Shadow Series” it is the group of Eli, Liz, Lyle, and Striker.  They are inseparable, they would die for each other, and, well, that’s how I feel toward my two dear friends.

It is such an important part of being human, those deep connections where warts are shown, truth is mandatory, and small talk is for someone else.  The bond is so strong . . . thoughts are shared without being spoken . . . almost like a silent language is shared that no one else can hear. It is at the core of what it means to be human, a bond like no other, and if you experience it you don’t want to ever lose it.

Am I happy with just two?  An odd question, that one . . . I am thrilled by the two I have . . . I wish I had more. I have tried, at times, but for a variety of reasons they have not worked out. So I am satisfied for having two, and wishful for more.

Anyway, you’ll find it in most of my writings . . . certainly in my novels . . . friendship and love, the only two ingredients of life I absolutely must have to happily survive.

And I wish those for you, as well . . . happiness and love to you all!

Bill

“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”

40 Responses to “On Friendships”

  1. Janine Huldie February 12, 2019 at 2:52 pm #

    Bill, I love this! I have a very few select amounts of friends myself, as does my husband. We are happy with the few that we have as I truly think in this case it is quality over quantity. That said, just another thing we have in common I suppose. Happy Tuesday once again to you now 🙂

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 5:17 pm #

      There you go, Janine; one more reason why I like you so much. 🙂 Thank you my friend….Happy Tuesday to you on this snow-melting morning.

  2. cecil kingsley hutchinson February 12, 2019 at 3:05 pm #

    Charming …very, very sweet. Like my mother’s favourite ice cream.

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 5:21 pm #

      Thank you my friend. May love and peace be your constant companions.

  3. Shannon Henry February 12, 2019 at 3:13 pm #

    There you go again reading my mind. This theme has been on my mind lately, especially since I just had a sudden loss of someone I considered a good friend back in college. I would say I have maybe one or two friends like the type you just described above as well. Those connections are rare indeed and even harder to make as I get older. Casual friends and acquaintances are a blessing to be sure. They too make life worthwhile. So do some very good friends. But those that know you and all your flaws, that can refuse to focus on the worst….that’s just love. It’s unconditional and real. And it’s rare. Friends who become family.

    You also remind me of a line I literally just before I saw this post used in a book I’m writing…..”It’s not attention she’s both seeking and simultaneously avoiding,” Lucinda advised. “It’s a deeper connection.”

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 5:18 pm #

      Shannon, I absolutely love that line you shared…a deeper connection…that’s it exactly!!!!!

  4. swalia February 12, 2019 at 3:56 pm #

    True friends are rare gems which are hard to find. In fact, I only have two friends whom i can really count upon.

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 5:19 pm #

      Thank you Shaloo…rare gems for sure!

  5. Greg Boudonck February 12, 2019 at 4:13 pm #

    Personally Bill, I count 4 friends I would die for if need be… Not counting family.

    That kind of friendship is hard to find.

    Love them with all my heart… Maggie, Bake, Oly Dog and Tony.

    You too are a good friend Bill. It would be great to sip some coffee PR tea with you at some point in time.

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 5:20 pm #

      It really would be great to do that, Greg! It’s a small world; who knows what lies in store for us, buddy!

  6. GRAHAM LEE February 12, 2019 at 4:34 pm #

    I agree with you Bill. Life and true friendships are the cornerstone of our wellbeing. Tip Top as usual. – Graham.

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 5:20 pm #

      I love that, Graham…the cornerstone of well-being. Well said!

  7. susanzutautas February 12, 2019 at 5:34 pm #

    I have a few very close friends. I have a friend from my California days (I was 16) and we’ve kept in touch all through the years. We got to finally see each other after too many years. She now lives in Hawaii but was going on a cruize with her husband and mother in law. They started the cruize in Montreal. My husband and I drove the 8 hours to go and see her. It was amazing. It was like the years of not seeing each other never happened. If that makes sense. I am so grateful to have her in my life.

    Anyways I know exactly what you mean.

    Muhammad Ali said:
    “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”

    Have a wonderful day Bill!

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 6:13 pm #

      It makes perfect sense, Susan. I had the same experience with my best buddy Frank three years ago. Seeing him again, the thirty years of not seeing him just disappeared, and we were suddenly in our thirties again.

      Thank you my dear! Have a great day!

  8. explorereikiworld February 12, 2019 at 5:43 pm #

    I agree friends are like gems…very rare and treasures. Can count on them at any time of the day. Glad you are surrounded by those gems. Have a blessed day, Bill

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 6:11 pm #

      Thank you Ruchira! Gems for sure!

  9. Emese-Réka February 12, 2019 at 5:52 pm #

    The type of friendships you talk about are rare indeed, Bill; I suspect for everyone. I have only a few as well, but I feel they last a lifetime, transcending time and space. You are right, they are special, and we are all lucky to have them.

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 6:06 pm #

      Thank you Emese. May we both enjoy our friends for many years to come.

  10. Sue Dreamwalker February 12, 2019 at 5:53 pm #

    True friendships are so important, and yet they are often very far and few between.. Like you, I have had very few ‘Real’ friends in my life, although many whom have been close,acquaintances. I can name only three who proved themselves real friends in times of need, and one of those is my husband, my sister and my late friend who is no longer with us.
    So I can see why you cherish your friends Bill.. Long may they remain at your side 😀
    Loved reading and enjoyed the photo’s
    Enjoy your week Bill 🙂

    • Billybuc February 12, 2019 at 6:05 pm #

      Thank you Sue! My wife Bev is without a doubt my best friend, but I didn’t count her in this reflection. Had I, my count would have been three. That sounds much better than two, doesn’t it? 🙂 Hugs from Olympia!

      • Sue Dreamwalker February 12, 2019 at 6:09 pm #

        Haha… well I am now down to Two lol.. 😀 hehe… Take care all of you 🙂

  11. Michael Milec February 13, 2019 at 2:57 am #

    Very kind of you my friend: Retrospectively I wish you the same happiness and love.
    ( A friend like that you are describing -apart of the family-“telling me what I didn’t want to hear” isn’t among us anymore…
    Sometime we are learning to live from the stockpile of friendship stored in our memories.
    Good night, blessings always.
    PS This time I won’t offer you any of our additional snow.Your memories are fresh of white trouble . Aren’t they ?

    • Billybuc February 13, 2019 at 2:43 pm #

      Michael my friend thank you for withholding the gift of more snow. That is a true sign of friendship.

      Blessings and love always

      bill

  12. Shell Vera February 13, 2019 at 7:23 am #

    I can relate and I don’t think it says anything bad. I used to attend a church where 300 people would hug me and tell me they loved me every Sunday, another 100 on Wednesday’s, and yet I went through a really hard pregnancy, miscarried my youngest’s twin, and was divorced without anyone from the church except my best friend being there. When my father had a stroke, there was one person I could think to call. Friendship today is much different than it was in the days of old… and I have to say, I much prefer it back then. But I am thankful for those I call friends who are zone 3 and 4 according to Holly Furtick’s BFF Study. The people I talk to regularly and those I do life with. Both are needed in this world of, as you say, instant friends on social media and the other acquaintances we see in passing. I value the folks who can see me as I am and love me for it and for whom I can do the same for.

    • Billybuc February 13, 2019 at 2:44 pm #

      Thank you for sharing that, Shell. I agree completely. A good way to find out who your true friends are is to go through tough times. The cream always rises to the top.

      • Shell Vera February 13, 2019 at 3:23 pm #

        Such truth!

  13. Sageleaf February 13, 2019 at 12:59 pm #

    I think having two really close friends is also a sign of an introvert. I, too, know hundreds of people in multiple states and around the world. But I can count on my hand the people I would call if I had an emergency. I also two have long-distance friends that no matter how often or how little we talk, we’ll always be friends. There’s just a connection we have from our college days that transcends space and time. I’m blessed to have this handful of people in my life and yes, I’d lay down my life for them. 🙂
    Sending you hugs, dear friend. Stay warm over there! 😉

    • Billybuc February 13, 2019 at 2:45 pm #

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lil Sis! Hugs coming back atcha, and one day I hope I can give you a real hug in person.

  14. Mike February 14, 2019 at 5:53 pm #

    Hi Bill – I am going to remember Shell’s words, ‘those I do life with’ that is a grand expression. 2019 brought the news of the death of my best friend in high school. Hard news for sure. Richard Bach has a book titled, “The Gift of Friendship” – it is truly a gift.

    • Billybuc February 14, 2019 at 6:22 pm #

      Thanks for sharing that, Mike! I’m going to lose both of my friends sooner rather than later, I’m afraid. Enjoy them while they are with us. 🙂

  15. Shauna L Bowling February 14, 2019 at 6:03 pm #

    Bill, you’re not alone in not having a bevy of true friends. Aside from family, I can only think of two on my end. Having moved a lot in my school years, friends came and went. Or rather, I came and went, so forming deep bonds was a bit hard to do. Rather than hurt over loss, I’d distance myself. Sure, I had close friends, but once I moved, the friendships went out the window.

    I’m grateful for the two true friends I have. I have enough satisfying relationships with others that I don’t feel deprived at all. And, of course I have my cats. They’re steadfast true blues in my life.

    Take care my friend and stay warm!

    • Billybuc February 14, 2019 at 6:24 pm #

      Ain’t that the truth, Sha! Pets are forever friends. Maggie has become such an important part of our family, and no matter what kind of mood I’m in, she is always by my side.

      The snow has ended and is melting finally. I might start believing Spring is possible soon.

  16. Lori Colbo February 15, 2019 at 4:18 am #

    Friendship is a gift from God and having two good ones is plenty blessed. Friendship seems to be a common thread for me too or friendship with a family member. Thanks for this inspiration.

    • Billybuc February 15, 2019 at 2:43 pm #

      Thank you Lori…I am blessed. No doubt about it.

  17. aimworkout March 9, 2019 at 12:02 pm #

    Friendship is so much important to me and you wrote an article on it.I am so thankful to you.Some people don’t value their friends but later in the life you can realise how important part they are.

    Anyways,Many Thanks!!

    • Billybuc March 9, 2019 at 3:32 pm #

      Thank you sir! The older I get, the more important quality relationships are to me.

  18. Shell Vera April 23, 2019 at 5:02 am #

    I have a very small group of people I’d give my life for and even smaller of who’d do the same for me. I value the relationships that can go deep without effort. I’ll take quality over quantity any day. I have a larger group of acquaintances who have something in common, who enjoy my company, etc. I will pick one or two a month to spend time with but for the most part I’m very true to my introvert ways!!

    • Billybuc April 23, 2019 at 1:40 pm #

      You and I are scary-alike, Shell. It’s so nice to know there are others out there who understand my thoughts on this topic.

      • Shell Vera April 23, 2019 at 1:55 pm #

        I agree Bill! It helps me not feel so alone in some of my nuances. I realize when I read your writing that there are others out there with them as well! And when reading some of the comments last night, I noticed that there are many others as well!

      • Billybuc April 23, 2019 at 4:22 pm #

        There are quite a few of us out there, Shell,and I do find that comforting.

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