It’s All About Me?

7 May

More naps these days

Writing one’s memoirs is an interesting exercise.

My first reaction is one of resistance. It all seems so self-serving, directly opposed to the humility I wish to convey and live by.

It all seems so silly, the concept that my life might be interesting enough for a full-length book. Who would ever find my life to be fascinating?

And yet I see the value in it and, as a writer, I understand that every memoir written is not only written about the author but also about every single person who reads it, because we are all so much the same.  We strive for individuality, from the make-up we use to the clothes we wear to the thousands of possessions we purchase over the years, and yet, at our core, we are the same.  Events which have happened to me are relatable to a great many people.  We all have suffered loss. We all have struggled.  We all have had great personal triumphs, all have loved, and all have similar fears.

So my story is, in many ways,  your story, and perhaps that is the greatest value of a memoir, to show others that they are not alone in this world, that they are not strange in their thoughts, and that they are not mistakes of creation.  We are all stumbling, bumbling, mistake-prone jumbles of emotion, and we are all, in our own way, miracles.

And so it continues!

Bill

38 Responses to “It’s All About Me?”

  1. Janine Huldie May 7, 2019 at 1:45 pm #

    Love this so much, Bill and couldn’t agree more with the way you put it so perfectly here. Thanks for the reminder and Happy Tuesday now 🙂

    • Billybuc May 7, 2019 at 4:47 pm #

      Thank you Janine, and welcome back to “reality.” lol

  2. Shell Vera May 7, 2019 at 1:49 pm #

    I love how you phrased this. As a ghostwriter of some powerful memoirs, I had never considered the “all about me” feeling. Then I started putting together this poetry book and kept second guessing myself since it’s like a journey through my life. You see, as a ghostwriter if the memoirs, I was able to hear these wonderful stories and learn from them just a reader would, so I didn’t experience the writer’s struggle of “it’s all about me”. But as the writer, I want to defer that feeling despite knowing my life IS inspirational and helpful to others just from the speaking I do. It’s funny how we’ve become an all about me culture and yet there are still many of us who don’t want the spotlight and instead like being behind the scenes. I am eagerly awaiting your memoir bill. I don’t do a lot of fiction but I love a good story about someone’s life!

    • Billybuc May 7, 2019 at 4:47 pm #

      Thank you Shell…and you summed it all up perfectly. I would much rather be behind the scenes, dropping the occasional hint about the real me, but never bringing it out into the spotlight. This will be challenging.

      • Shell Vera May 7, 2019 at 10:22 pm #

        You’re going to great because of it being challenging! For what it’s worth, I believe I’ve been following you since 2011 or 2012… your beginning days. I was drawn in by how you retired and were starting this new path and it kept me going on days I wanted to just go back and make good money! Lol Then as you began opening up about some of what you’ve experienced, it drew me in more. So to have your book and read your life in one sitting and see what you feel is important for me—the reader—to know is going to be a great reader experience.

      • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 2:37 am #

        Shell, that is very kind of you,and important for me to hear. Thank you for coming back and telling me that.

  3. Mike May 7, 2019 at 2:05 pm #

    Hi Bill – My guess is that you are in everyone of your novels. From Tobias through the Shadow series. I have suggested to many that a journal of their life would be important and cherished by generations to come.

    • Billybuc May 7, 2019 at 4:45 pm #

      That would be a good guess, Mike. I am in there if you look hard enough. 🙂 Thanks buddy!

  4. Susan Zutautas May 7, 2019 at 2:19 pm #

    I think I know you well enough to know that I’d love to read a memoir of your life.

    • Billybuc May 7, 2019 at 4:44 pm #

      Thank you Susan! I’ll toss out a sample of it in the next couple weeks.

  5. cecil kingsley hutchinson May 7, 2019 at 2:32 pm #

    Seen with a beautiful perspective; written from an inspiring space. Peace.

    • Billybuc May 7, 2019 at 4:44 pm #

      Thank you my friend! Peace be with you always!

  6. ericdierker May 7, 2019 at 4:23 pm #

    Hey dude write away. Send me stuff as you write it. I will give you some freaking humility!
    Life is love and love is grand. How wonderful it would be to read your reflections. You are lucky you do not have a few older brothers and sisters, they always correct your memory. “Husbands and wives should go on separate holiday trips – so they do not argue about what really happened.” hihihihi

    • Billybuc May 7, 2019 at 4:43 pm #

      Humility is what I always look for, Eric. It is my Holy Grail. 🙂 And Bev and I solve that problem by not going on vacations. lol

  7. Rodric Johnson May 7, 2019 at 6:08 pm #

    Bill, it is my estimation that each person has at LEAST two books in them about themselves that would be of interest to others to read. Your post supports my estimation in that we share a common history–not in experiencing the same things necessarily, but in experiencing life, relatable life. This is good stuff.

    • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 2:38 am #

      Rodric, thank you sir! We are all so alike, if we would only take the time to notice the similarities.

  8. marlenebertrand May 7, 2019 at 6:20 pm #

    I have narrated 24 books for a writer who only writes memoirs. All of his books are about his life and the things he does in life. All of his books are interesting and he has a great following. When he writes a book, people flock to it. In one of his books he just talks about him and his wife cleaning their house. You would think it would be boring, but it’s not. I hope you do write your memoir. It would be fun to read and learn more about you. I would surely buy that book.

    • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 2:39 am #

      Marlene, thank you! I would expect nothing less than total support from you,dear friend.

  9. Shauna L Bowling May 7, 2019 at 6:49 pm #

    That’s a great way to look at it, Bill. I think another huge plus to it is the history of yourself that you leave behind to future Holland generations.

    My natural father passed in December. He was a retired USAF Fighter Pilot who also raced for the Air Force during his career. I know little about him (my parents divorced when I was six, then found him again when I was 40). His USAF photos and some other things I want (while the estate is being settled) will be shipped to me soon. One of the items I’m really looking forward to is his 20+ years of flight logs and Presidential commendations that date back to the ’50s. It will be history preserved. I can then leave that and all the photos and other memorabilia to my son so Daddy’s legacy isn’t lost.

    So, write those memoirs my friend. And be as detailed as you can. Someone down the line wants to get to know you!

    Love,
    Sha

    • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 2:36 am #

      Thank you for sharing that, Sha! How exciting that will be when all that is shipped to you. Thanks for the kick in the butt. I have started and it is going well so far.

  10. Sageleaf May 8, 2019 at 2:08 am #

    Using that ol’ creative non-fiction muscle. It sure is fun to tell the memoir story. I still have mine on a cloud drive somewhere, waiting to see if it wants to be published. I’ll tell you what it DID do for me, though. While I default to fairly happy-go-lucky, there was a time in my 20s where I carried a lot of anger at what happened in my life. Not the life-inhibiting kind, but the kind where I’d often wonder if I was better off cutting myself off from the insanity in my family that led to my adoption and subsequent life events that happened not only to me, but to other members of my family. To be sure, growing up in a nursing home after being adopted, and living with a cousin six years my junior, while trying to focus on a good future for myself…despite my oldest brother nearly going to prison and even…to this day – no joke – my mom (80+ years old!) and my sister (in her 50s) getting in trouble and getting two years of probation. I was bitter. Not angry – no, that was too “in-the-moment.” I was bitter: the kind that serves as an undercurrent that could ultimately keep you from flourishing in your own life, but it was easier to have this dullness that kept me from ever getting close to most people.
    I sat down to write one summer. I poured my life out onto my computer screen, cussing and flailing my arms the whole time. It was a splattering of this event and that, this emotion and that consequence. All the mistakes of humanity wrapped in meek apologies that I wasn’t sure mattered.
    And then when I was done? A cathartic realization of how “human” people are. Their faults and failings, their sweet moments of bliss and a desire to survive by doing the best they can with the information they have.
    All my anger simmered into evaporation. I wasn’t angry anymore. I understood my family differently. I understood life differently. I started with the intent to publish. By the end, I was healed and publishing didn’t matter.
    It’s a transformative experience. 🙂

    • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 1:29 pm #

      Lil Sis, you outdid yourself with this beautiful post. Thank you for sharing such intimate memories, and for sharing your feelings. Posts like yours are so important, or so I believe. Walking through the darkness to find the light is rarely an easy journey, but it is always worth it.

      Hugs and love coming your way

  11. explorereikiworld May 8, 2019 at 3:23 am #

    Writing a memoir not only helps one reflect on one’s life in the past but also makes one ponder on the future by taking action accordingly. I have known since we used to write regularly for HubPages, and know bits and pieces of you. You are not only honest but a very grounded person. I wish you good luck as you create your space and write your past.

    • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 1:30 pm #

      Thank you so much, Ruchira! This is something I was not prepared to do twenty years ago. Now I think I can do it with clarity of heart.

  12. Sue Dreamwalker May 8, 2019 at 11:57 am #

    Brilliant Bill.. we are all of us works in progress, each stumble each fall, each graze in life a great teacher to open our eyes and learn from our mistakes,,
    Given that they were mistakes.. for even this I ponder upon, because without mistakes we would never learn, and without the lessons of them, we would not have become who we are.. So each stumble is a necessary stepping stone into finding one’s self.

    And discovering ourselves is a painful process as we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and carry on the journey..

    Each path we choose even the detours lead us to some interesting views along the way, giving greater insights into who we are, and what courage we hold and how we cope with challenging circumstances.. Which brings inner strength and confidence we perhaps before those ‘Wrong’/right’ turnings in the road taught us..

    I look forward to your memoirs Bill… We are indeed, ALL of us Walking Miracles.. because we are here, walking our path on Earth!.. The greatest School with the harshest of lessons..
    ❤ 🙂

    Much love my friend 🙂

    • Billybuc May 8, 2019 at 1:31 pm #

      Thank you so much, Sue! How can I go wrong with supportive friends like you who understand what these journeys are like, and why they are important. I appreciate you greatly!

      love from across The Pond

      • Sue Dreamwalker May 8, 2019 at 3:10 pm #

        Many thanks Bill… big hugs returned

  13. María Ruiz May 8, 2019 at 5:01 pm #

    “Nothing new under the sun”… but every morning and evening the daily view from the balcony is always different. Writers like Greg was and you as well, will always use words that will enlighten what seems “normal”.
    Love the way you wrote this portion.
    Keep your blessings!

    • Billybuc May 9, 2019 at 1:39 pm #

      You are very kind, Maria. Thank you for your support. May God bring you peace of heart soon, my friend.

  14. phoenix2327 May 10, 2019 at 12:28 pm #

    Another compelling reason to write the book. It seems to me that nowadays people are focused on being the best, the brightest, the richest, the (fill in the blank). If they stumble, no matter how slightly, the declare themselves failures and quit. Or worse, they will try to derail someone else who appears to be achieving more than they did. People need to understand that everyone makes mistakes, sometimes really bad ones. But it’s not the end of their world or their dreams. It is possible to come back from them. They may not be the same person they were before and that’s not always a bad thing.

    I wish you all the best in this endeavour. Frankly, I think you brave to do this. I know I couldn’t do it. There are parts of my life I don’t wish to revisit.

    Please excuse my lateness to the party. Outlook is being a d*** and I’ve had trouble getting it to load.

    Have a great weekend, Bill.

    • Billybuc May 10, 2019 at 1:42 pm #

      Thank you Zulma! Brave I don’t know, but I’m willing to give it a try. Should be easy, right, since I’m the main character. lol

      Happy Weekend to you, my friend.

      • phoenix2327 May 11, 2019 at 8:07 am #

        Should be easy? You’d think so. How many times have I told myself that one only to find it wasn’t as simple as I thought it should have been. lol Oh well.

      • Billybuc May 11, 2019 at 2:32 pm #

        Oh well indeed, Zulma, Easy or not, it is happening.

  15. 1authorcygnetbrown May 11, 2019 at 7:57 pm #

    Yes, show share your life, even if it is only shared with your posterity. I wish my father would have shared his memoirs along with his poetry.

    • Billybuc May 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm #

      Thank you Donna! So much of our history is lost when memoirs are not done. I really need to do this.

  16. Andrea Stephenson May 11, 2019 at 9:42 pm #

    Very true Bill, we all get value from those moments of recognition and understanding of the life we have lived and the lives we might have lived.

    • Billybuc May 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm #

      Thank you Andrea…the lives we might have lived….very profound.

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