The Sound of Being Alone

6 Apr

I have been remiss of late with this blog. I doubt many have missed it; I am certain most didn’t even notice.

Life just gets in the way of my plans at times, and as an organizer and a planner, one who sticks to a pretty strict schedule, these disruptions can be unsettling. I would love nothing more than to sit at my computer and crank out story after story after story, but the last few months have not allowed that.

That’s a long way of saying “oops” regarding this blog!

I was thinking of a song, from long ago, a song which has a very powerful and significant lyric, at least for me.  It comes from Neil Diamond’s song “I Am, I Said,” and the lyric goes like this:

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I’ve tried
But it won’t let me go
And I’m not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared
For the sound of being alone

Wow!

Mr. Diamond could have been writing about me.

That one line, “I never cared for the sound of being alone,” is a brilliant line . . . the sound of being alone. I know it so well.  There were times when I craved that sound, but there were also times, an increasing number of times as I grew older, when that sound was deafening and unwelcomed.

As much as I wanted to believe that I was a self-contained island, a man who did not need others, the fallacy of that thinking became, eventually, too strong to ignore.

I need people!

Yes, there has always been an emptiness deep inside of me, but that emptiness is filled when I interact with people.  It’s strange, even now, to write that statement.  People fill me.  People fulfill me.  People, to borrow from a Tom Cruise movie, complete me.

The emptiness is not nearly as deep in volume today.  I have Bev. I have my son. I have some pretty damned good friends who allow me to be me.  And I have my dogs!

The sound of being alone isn’t nearly as deafening as it once was, and that is cause for celebration.

What’s all of that have to do with creative writing?  Emotions, baby, emotions!  If a writer can tap into those kinds of emotions, that is some powerful writing being done.  It’s a goal of mine every single time I sit down to write a story or novel.

Thanks for “listening.”

Thanks for being an integral part of my happiness.

Bill

“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”

37 Responses to “The Sound of Being Alone”

  1. divalounger April 6, 2021 at 4:13 pm #

    I think all writers need to be alone –how else can you sit and write for hours–I crave it, but I get so little of it between teaching and spending time with my husband and family. So I get up early and read and write before anyone is awake–then it feels like it’s off to the races–maybe that is just balance–I am not sure–glad you posted again–

    • Billybuc April 6, 2021 at 4:45 pm #

      Thank you Audrey, for sharing that. I do my best writing before sunrise. After that the pressures of the outside world come knocking on my inner door, and I submit to the noise and do chores.

  2. Graham Alan Lee April 6, 2021 at 4:31 pm #

    I know how you feel Bill. There is a feeling of loss the compass of direction has failed. Only our own inner strength saves us from the precipes of despair. Most of us get back to living our lives some fall by the wayside and all to often these unfortunates are left down and out.

    • Billybuc April 6, 2021 at 4:43 pm #

      Graham, I am certain you know all about this sound of being alone, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you are doing well, my friend. Thanks for stopping by.

  3. marlenebertrand April 6, 2021 at 5:00 pm #

    For the record, I did notice! I have a shortlist of writers who inspire me and after reading from the good book first, I search to see who has written what so I can read what they wrote. You are on that list. So, yes, I did notice. But, as you mentioned, life gets in the way of plans.

    The same is true with me, so I totally understand. The sound of silence is like gold to me on the days when I want to write, but the sound of silence scares me on days when I look up from writing and hear nothing, meaning I look up and the people are gone, busy in their own world. My dear friend, you are not the only one who needs people. We all need people, but not just any people. We need good, quality people who will lift us up and help us through the day. We need people like you who help us spread our wings and fly. Thank you Billybuc! You’re the best.

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 1:42 pm #

      Marlene, as always, you are very kind. Thank you! I actually teared up reading your words, and for that I am grateful. I love our friendship and cherish you.

  4. Janine Huldie April 6, 2021 at 5:03 pm #

    While I do need my quiet, alone time and space sometimes, I still very much need other people around. So, I totally can relate as I thrive better when I am engaged with family and friends around more than anything. Thanks for sharing, Bill and hoping you and your are doing well right now 🙂

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 12:39 am #

      We are doing well, Janine! Thanks for finding the time to visit. I hope your family is healthy; hopefully normal will return soon.

  5. My Very Own Writing Coach April 6, 2021 at 5:19 pm #

    Just for the record, Bill. I missed your blogging. Good to see you again. You bless us every time you write, my friend!!!

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 1:41 pm #

      Thank you, William, and welcome back my friend. I am glad you are feeling better.

  6. RasmaSandra April 6, 2021 at 5:54 pm #

    You know I fill the sound of being alone with music and that helps me get through the days while I pounding away on the keyboard. I hope you have an inspirational new week,

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 1:40 pm #

      Thank you Rasma! We always have music on; there were times, in my life, when music simply could not fill the void. I’m happy to say those days are gone.

  7. manatita April 6, 2021 at 5:55 pm #

    Yes, Bill.

    I did miss you!

    Yes, too. Life does get in the way. Who could have predicted 2020? Not out of the woods yet either. Trouble is, even if you and I can deal with it, we don’t live alone.

    The French stopped our lorries a few weeks ago, at the port in Dover. People complained, but did not seem to worry too much, that is, until they realised that these same lorries were carrying food and groceries to and fro, and that supermarkets could go low on stock without them. It is an interconnected world, after all. Peace!

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 1:39 pm #

      Manatita, your words are truth. The fact that Bev and I are fully vaccinated does not end this pandemic for us. We all must continue to do our part so that humanity survives.

  8. Andrea Stephenson April 6, 2021 at 6:29 pm #

    I often crave solitude and silence, but I’ve always felt alone. I think it goes back to being an only child, in many ways I’ve been lonely all my life, but that has spurred on my creativity, even if I’m not physically alone.

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 12:37 am #

      You and I are very similar in that way, Andrea. I was basically an only child, adopted, felt out of place most of my life. Thankfully I am now at peace. It’s about time, eh?

      Take care, my friend, and thank you!

  9. explorereikiworld April 6, 2021 at 6:43 pm #

    I’ve always treasured the sound of being alone during the day. However, given the Pandemic with everybody at home, that’s one thing I miss the most 🙂

    But as a writer, I’ve felt that my creativity is at the peak when alone.

    Trust all is well your end, Bill.

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 12:36 am #

      All is well with us, Ruchira! Thank you! I do love my silent times, just as long as they don’t last too long. lol

  10. Lawrence Hebb April 6, 2021 at 10:05 pm #

    Bill
    ‘No man is an island’.
    I thought this was a saying, but apparently its a 17th century poem and Book!
    Thank you for the reminder this morning.

    Lawrence

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 12:35 am #

      Lawrence, now I have to look it up to find out. I’m not sure, tell you the truth. It’s good to hear from you. I hope you are well.

  11. nightlake April 6, 2021 at 11:25 pm #

    I noticed that there were no posts from you recently. I am glad to see you back. Yes, being alone does help in spurring creativity and getting us going as writers, but it is not healthy in the long run. Music from the CD or laptop does not help alleviate emptiness. Face-to-face interaction does. At least, that is what I have realized. Do please post more frequently:)

    • Billybuc April 7, 2021 at 1:45 pm #

      Nightlake, it’s nice to be missed. Thank you for your kind words. I’ll try to be a bit more constant on this blog from now on. Blessings to you always!

  12. Lori Colbo April 7, 2021 at 10:14 pm #

    I love that song and it is powerful. I like living alone. I like solitude, but I also need friends and fellowship. I am usually able to strike a good balance. I do however get very lonely and feel disconnected when I am suffering through a bout of depression and it is very painful. When I am clinically depressed, I can be in a room full of people and feel totally alone and isolated. So I take great care in self-care.
    You are a super de dooper dude and I always appreciate your sharing.

    • Billybuc April 8, 2021 at 1:39 pm #

      Super de dooper dude? I’ll take that compliment any day of the week, Lori. Thank you so much. You definitely know what I’m talking about. Your words describe me very well.

  13. 1authorcygnetbrown April 8, 2021 at 12:43 am #

    Yes, we all need people, even introverts like me.

    • Billybuc April 8, 2021 at 1:38 pm #

      Yes we do, Donna! Yes we do!

  14. Shell Vera April 8, 2021 at 12:54 am #

    I’ve missed you my friend! I crave your words. Your view of life. It’s always such a big reaction when I see you’re notification come into my email.

    I think of you often lately after reading your memoir and having a family member in a similar situation. Your faithfulness to share your story helps me have peace for him.

    Back to this post though. I enjoy my time along yet love when I’m with the right people in person. There’s a level of energy I don’t get on my own when I’m able to share thoughts and ideas with someone face to face. Like you said, it fills me.

    I love that your fulfilled offline and not coming on as much. Yet I also miss reading your words more often!

    Have a great week!

    • Billybuc April 8, 2021 at 1:37 pm #

      Shell, I’ve missed you as well, my friend. You have always been one of my favorite online friends, and it’s ridiculous that I only write to you every blue moon. I will try to be much better about this going forward.

      Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate you very much, and you have been, seriously, an inspiration for me. I love your spirit and your desire to grow as a human being.

      Sending hugs your way!

      • Shell Vera April 8, 2021 at 1:50 pm #

        I think we are both doing the best we can. Sometimes talking to someone too often can make it less appreciated! I also have to do better though at reading more quickly. It’s amazing to me how wonderful it feels when I engage with the writing and blogging community and yet how it gets pushed down on priorities because of other “fires” each week. It’s backwards since this is what fuels my desire to be a good marketer in my profession!

      • Billybuc April 8, 2021 at 3:01 pm #

        Exactly, my friend. I am very good at doing the opposite of what is good for me. lol I have a lot of practice.

        Enjoy your day, be dazzled by the weekend, and please stay safe.

  15. Mike Friedman April 8, 2021 at 3:39 pm #

    Hi Bill

    • Billybuc April 8, 2021 at 3:57 pm #

      Hey Mike! I hope you are well, my friend. Thanks for stopping by.

  16. phoenix2327 April 12, 2021 at 11:04 am #

    Hi, Bill.

    I noticed you had been a little quiet, but what with remodelling the homestead and tending to the garden, I figured you had a lot on your plate.

    Sorry, to cut this visit short, but I have a cat staring at me. It must be feeding time. However, I just want to let you know, it’s good to hear from you again.

    Have a great day.

    • Billybuc April 12, 2021 at 1:34 pm #

      Thank you, Zulma! Now go take care of that cat. We all know the havoc a hungry, demanding cat can create.

      Have a great week, my friend.

  17. Sue Dreamwalker April 12, 2021 at 4:23 pm #

    Sometimes Bill, we just have to disappear into that space… I know I certainly slipped between the cracks of the blogsphere for three months on my garden blog and a good five weeks on my main one..
    I so relate to your post… As a child the eldest of five who shared her bedroom with three sisters, as a teenager I craved my own space and wanting to be alone…

    Today I can easily feel comfortable within my own company, as I dive into a book I share the the silent space with my imagination… And I can walk for miles in the woods and never feel alone..

    I am grateful however for the company of my family, whose love and support has pulled me up and through some difficult and lonely times….

    So balancing is the key….. I appreciate both sides of the coin…. And feel for those who have no other choice, who are all alone in the world…. And many I am sure this last year have felt more alone than ever …. So I am so very grateful for my lot in life..

    Love to you and your family Bill… 🙂 🙏

    • Billybuc April 13, 2021 at 4:29 pm #

      Beautifully stated, Sue, and I would expect nothing less from you. Yes, balance, and I, too, have found it. I still cherish solitude, but I understand the value of being with others as well.

      I need to get out in the garden. I have found, this year, some new aches and pains. I’m afraid I might have to admit I’m getting old. lol

      Take care, you, and thank you for your friendship.

      Hugs from across the Pond

      bill

      • Sue Dreamwalker April 13, 2021 at 4:34 pm #

        Yes no joy in those aches and pains which remind us that while our hearts like to tell us we are still young and our minds think we are still in our prime…. When it comes to gardening and those DIY chores, our bodies let us know our true ages.. LOL…
        Happy Gardening Bill 🙂

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